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All four gospel writers, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, have their own version of Jesus being baptized in the Jordan River by John the Baptist. In Matthew, Mark, and Luke’s rendition of the story, a voice from heaven—the voice of God—says to the crowd, “This is my beloved Son,” or Jesus himself hears the voice say, “You are my beloved Son.” The version we heard today, from John’s Gospel, is not a story about Jesus or the crowd hearing the voice of God, but it is a story about John the Baptist himself hearing God’s voice. Basically, John heard, “He whom you see the Spirit descend and remain, he’s the One. The One you see the Spirit descend and remain is the One who will pass on that same Spirit to others. Stay close to him.” So, John the Baptist had a personal experience of God, and he wants to tell us what he witnessed. That’s what a witness does—testify to a truth that they experienced firsthand. Isn’t that why we come to Mass? Isn’t that why we try to grow in our faith, that we might experience Jesus and pass that on to others? 

The purpose of John the Baptist’s testimony is to attract others to Jesus. John says himself, “I baptized Jesus with water for this reason, that he might be revealed to Israel.” We are all called to be witnesses of the Risen Lord in our own lives. But before John the Baptist can reveal Jesus to the world, before he can point out, “Here is the Lamb of God,” John first needs to be open to the revelation himself. That’s the pattern in our lives too. First we open, then we receive, then we pass on what we’ve received. 

John the Baptist admits that he didn’t always perceive the truth about Jesus. One of the truths that John came to, gradually, is that Jesus is the Lamb of God. Lambs were sacrificed in the Temple to atone for people’s sins. When Jesus appears on the scene, he doesn’t appear as the “lamb of sinful people;” he appears as the “Lamb of God.” It is always God’s initiative that draws us back into relationship with the Divine, not our little sacrifices. With the coming of Jesus, Temple sacrifice is no longer the way sin is overcome. In fact, in John’s Gospel, Jesus frees the Temple animals. In Jesus, God and the world are united. So, when we enter into communion with Jesus, and remain in him–as he asked us to do–we automatically enter into union with God. This is the first thing revealed to John the Baptist: Jesus is the source of union with God. Stay close to Jesus and you will be close to God. 

A second revelation that comes to John the Baptist comes from that words he spoke: “After me comes a man who ranks ahead of me because he was before me.” What do we make of this? Chronologically, Jesus did not come ahead of John the Baptist. John the Baptist was six months older than Jesus, so he came before Jesus. But by saying that Jesus was before him, John is saying that Jesus pre-existed him. Therefore, Jesus is God. 

So, the two things revealed to John the Baptist are that Jesus is the Lamb of God, and that Jesus is God. These revelations were not light bulbs that came on in John instantaneously. Like the rest of us, John had to struggle. Twice he says in today’s gospel story, “I myself did not know him (Jesus).” 

The best teachers, the best witnesses I’ve had in my life, have always been people who both know and don’t know. They are people who have something to offer me, but they offer it with such humility and never with arrogance. John the Baptist knew something about Jesus, after all he leapt in his mother’s womb when Mary visited Elizabeth. John the Baptist knew something about Jesus because they were cousins by the fact that their mothers were cousins. Both John the Baptist and Jesus grew up in small towns where everyone knew everyone else. Yet, he says twice, “I myself did not know him.” In other words, “I know something about him, but the something I know is nothing compared to all there is to know about him.”

In 1988, I walked up the stairs and onto the stage of the National Art Center in Ottawa to receive a scroll, my biology degree. As I descended the stairs on the opposite side of the stage, with my degree in hand, I realized I knew nothing about biology. This was a humbling revelation. I knew enough to get a degree but compared to all there was to know in the world of biology, it was just a drop in the bucket, almost nothing. I think that’s what John the Baptist felt when he said about Jesus, “I myself did not know him.” In other words, “I’m just a beginner. This Jesus has everything to teach me. If I remain humble, I’ll get the teaching. I’ll get the revelation of who Jesus really is. Then, and only then, will I be able to pass the revelation on to others.”

The question on the floor remains for me: When people look at me, do they see a credible witness to my faith in God? Before I can presume to reveal God to others, I must be open to the revelation of God in my own life. The first step of bearing witness is honest self-examination. John the Baptist is my model. He was honest about what he knew and equally honest about what he didn’t know. This “not knowing” is what attracts me to the Mystery of God and keeps me exploring and growing. The moment I think I know all there is to know, I stop growing and have nothing to offer to others. 

Would my knowing and not knowing be perceived by others as weak? Would people say, “He’s flip flopping, he’s vacillating, he’s not sure of himself, he’s muddling the faith”? Would I turn into a negative witness? After hearing me, would they look elsewhere? I’ve come to realize that, in my earlier years, I gave too much attention to how others were perceiving me. The more I thought about how I was being received by others, the more I realized my ego was in charge and how that ego turned my testimony into performance. I was rehearsing what I was going to say, editing it for audience effect. As I get older, and start to mellow, I think less of how I package my relationship with Jesus, less of how I may be coming across to others. The goal now is simply to be faithful to Jesus and let the chips fall where they may. Jesus himself said, “What you freely receive, freely give.” John the Baptist learned, ever so slowly, to freely receive the revelation, the truth, about Jesus and to freely pass it on. He both knew and, more importantly, knew that he didn’t know everything. These are the kind of people, the humble, who are both the most attractive and have the most to teach me on my faith journey. The humble have always said to me, in one form or another, “Phil, there is the Lamb of God. Follow him.” I hope I can be such a guidepost in my own life.

Fr. Phil