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November – Depressing or Uplifting?

When I was young and thought time just seemed to be dragging on, my mother used to tell me that once you get out of school, time will fly.  And the older you get, the quicker it will seem to go.  Along with many other things she told me, this has certainly proven to be true.  It seems like summer just finished, yet here we are heading for the middle of November already.  I have heard many people say that the month they struggle the most to get through and stay positive is January, but, for me, it’s November.  It’s the month when all those beautifully coloured trees of October are bare, and the leaves are lying on the ground waiting for me to pick them up.  It’s the month when the clocks go back, and we are plunged into darkness before we can sit down for supper.  It is also the month that our daughter was diagnosed with cancer in 2011.  Something we don’t dwell on, but also never forget.

But, on a more positive note, in church world, and in society, this is also the month when we honour those who have gone before us and those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in protecting our freedom.  While for some people this may seem morbid, for me it is an opportunity to look back and think about all the people who had a hand in shaping the person I am today, in how I try to live my life serving God and serving the people God has put in my life.

This past week I was able to attend our Mass of Remembrance where we honour those connected to our parish unit who have passed away in the last year.  Their families are invited to write a short message about their loved one and what they meant to them, which is read aloud by Fr. Phil at this mass as the deceased member’s picture is displayed on our overhead screens.  It is so heartwarming, and also heart wrenching to hear the beautiful words that these families have written about their loved ones.  Nobody talks about their career or what they were able to accumulate in their time here on earth.  What they remember is how this person touched them in a way that will never be forgotten and how life won’t be the same without them.  I always hope that what they have written about their loved one for this occasion, they were able to say to them while they were still alive.

I mention this experience and these tributes to make a point.  I believe that the love expressed for these folks is a mere fraction of the love they will experience as they come face-to-face with God.  I have said before, and will say again that I believe the birth and the death experience are very similar.  I think there can be anxiety in leaving the only world you have ever known for the unknown.  I believe in both birth and death we are moving to a place of light like we could have never imagined.  And, I believe in both instances, we finally get to meet the one who has sustained us from the very first moment of our existence.

Sometimes, I forget this.  Sometimes, I can get so wrapped up in things I could have done better, or parts of my personality that I wish were different, or faults that I just can’t seem to overcome, that I forget how amazing this God is who created me.  This God for whom it is unthinkable that any of us would be lost, and not with Him.  As any parent who reads this knows, you can never truly rest until you know your kids are home and safe (lost sheep, lost coin, prodigal son).  November is the month that brings this into focus for me.  So, as we take time this month to honour our loved ones who have gone before us, let us never forget that while we don’t see them physically, they are anything but gone.  They are closer to us now then they ever could have been while they were walking this earth.  You know, maybe November is not such a bad month after all.

Mark Mahoney
Pastoral Associate