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This weekend marks the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Like most lifelong Catholics, I am well familiar with the images of the Holy Family depicted in the nativity creche, the icons and other artistic works, or a diverse array of statues, big and small. At this time of year a visitor to my house will find a simple nativity creche set up (a gift from either my sister or Aunt Susan), usually illuminated by a tea light or some other lights. At first I thought I might add figures to it each year, but now I appreciate the beauty of its plainness. There is also a humble and unassuming carving of the Holy Family sitting in my office throughout the year, gifted to me by my mother.   

Having visited Israel a few years ago, I may have a better understanding than before of how it was for a large family unit traveling through the Middle Eastern heat, the diverse crowds of pilgrims from various backgrounds and traditions, the chaos of the markets, and even getting separated from the group. During a visit to Bethlehem, three or four of our group got separated from the rest along the way and I will tell you there were a few bad moments. We had no idea where the group went or how to find them and I was conscious of being lost not only in a foreign country but in the Palestinian-ruled West Bank where entering and exiting the region involved unnerving road-stops by guards with guns. Maybe I am over-reacting but getting lost and left behind in a particularly volatile region of the Middle East is not something I will forget or wish to experience it again.

We also spent a day of pilgrimage along the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem, where we encountered thousands upon thousands of other pilgrims on their own journey to the Holy Land, each with their own complex story of joys and frustrations. It was hot, dusty, loud and at times intimidating. Even though the crowds that day looked different than two thousand years go, I understand how easily one could become lost amid the chaos of a sea of people pushing their way through the crowds, along with markets and the vendors and absence of anything familiar.   

We do not know what Jesus’ emotions were at the time he was separated from his family, but I can only imagine at the age of 12, the human part of him must have experienced some fear when he realized what had happened. And if Jesus was not afraid, then his parents certainly must have been, and I suspect the wording may have been far stronger than “You have caused us great anxiety.”

My experience living on earth has shown me families can be complex, and even though I am often guilty of understanding the Holy Family in a one-dimensional way, they should serve as a reminder that even two thousand or so years ago they experienced many of the same joys and trials we do in 2024. This much has not changed.

In his Angeles address for the Feast of the Holy Family in 2023, Pope Francis said:

In the Gospel, we see that even in the Holy Family things did not go well: there were unexpected problems, anxiety, suffering. The Holy Family of holy cards does not exist. Mary and Joseph lost Jesus and search for him anxiously, only to find him three days later. And when, seated among the teachers in the Temple, he responds that he had to be about his Father’s business, they do not understand. They need time to learn to know their son.

So while the Holy Family shows us a divine model to strive towards, they also serve as a reminder to not beat ourselves up about the imperfections that accompany being part of a human family. It may seem at times the entire world around us is set up to make us feel badly about not being perfect, and it can be a struggle to not compare ourselves with others who we consider to be more successful at life. The good news here is that whatever we might think, the perfect person or a perfect family does not exist, and Jesus, along with his mother and father remind us of the grace that comes along with being children of a Creator who loves each of us infinitely.   

Merry Christmas and the Happiest of New Years to each of you and your own holy family.

~Trevor Droesbeck